Sith Happens

I just finished watching Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith for the first time.

What a depressing movie.

It was well done, gorgeous, and I liked it, but I've not left a movie feeling in such a funk for some time now. All of these characters I'd come to love were betrayed, seduced by power, killed, or mind-wiped. The musical score was gorgeous, and just served to underscore every hit. I cried.

As much as I've blasted Lucas for writing bad dialogue in the past, some of the things said between Obi-Wan and Anakin towards the end really hit home for me. I'm not sure that it's anything that would make sense if I were to try to put it into words, but I feel right now like I need to spend a little more time listening to the Obi-Wan on my shoulder.

Screw angels and devils, that's so passe. I've got Jedi on my shoulders, acting as my consciences. Well, one Jedi and one almost-Sith.

Parting Shot

This last one is a picture that Ashley actually took, which came out gorgeously. She just came in to let me know that she had a print made up for me as well. I'll be framing it!

Fine China

Here are a handful of shots from Ashley's trip to China. There are a few others I want to put up that we haven't found the digital sources for yet, just the prints. This last one is probably the best from the entire trip. I've never seen such a great photo of Ashley.

Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe

Well, I'm no longer feeling sick. I feel short of breath all the time due to the bronchitis, but I'll see my physician again today to see if we can't take care of that.

I feel decent enough to even write up a worthwhile entry here.

It's been a really quiet vacation so far. I got here, almost immediately got sick, and then slept and slept. There's been a lot of subtle nice things happening too though. I've really enjoyed being able to have meals with my family. We cook together, eat together, talk and enjoy ourselves. It's the kind of thing that I've really come to appreciate while living on my own through its absence.

Bear, our golden retriever, just came downstairs to join me as I'm typing. It's about 6:00 AM, and I'm the first one up today. Bear is such a social dog. He always needs to be around people. Just needs to be in the room.

I'm looking forward to doing some driving once I stop coughing. Dad got some new tires for his car, and they're amazing. It's like the car is on rails. There's a huge amount of traction available to work with, and with between the Renesis engine in the RX-8 and the huge disc brakes, accelleration becomes something tangible. You can sculpt it.

I love lounging in the basement down here. We've got a stereo system with nice speakers, and I've got my iPod hooked up playing music quietly. These speakers are something else, actually. They date to about 1980 (the ones upstairs are from about '77). Some of the foam in the drivers was getting old, so Daniel got a foam kit and rebuilt them. Now they sound brand new. They're a Cerwin-Vega model that is still rather popular on the aftermarket.

Giftgiving was a lot of fun this year. It wasn't as fancy as it's sometimes been in the past, but there was a lot of thought put into this time.

We got my Dad a wireless router for Christmas, so I'm using that to connect to the network in the basement. It's nice. We got him a wireless mouse and a microphone headset as well, for the new laptop he was issued at work. He's really enjoying them. The router was a WRT54G, same model as mine. Very solid product, and that's been appreciated. The mouse ended up being impressive as well. It's a Microsoft model which is just well designed. It's the kind with a USB dongle that houses the rf unit. Unlike the other ones we looked at though, the dongle snaps into a depression in the base of the mouse when you're done with it. And when you push it in place, it shuts off the mouse. It's very slick.

Ashley probably brought half of the family's gifts from China. The gift getting the most use at the moment is the bootleg box set of Ghibli films. We've been slowly working through the collection - we've watched Howl's Moving Castle, Lupin the Third and the Castle of Cagliostro, and Porco Rosso in the last two nights. It's nice to be able to sit down with everyone and enjoy a film.

I've been watching a lot of DVDs with the family. We burned through Firefly, which was a huge hit. Everyone really liked it. My dad really appreciated how it had a lot of nods to shows like Gunsmoke that he grew up watching. The two of us had an engaging conversation talking about parallels between the two shows. I could tell that he was really getting into it - there was a certain glint in his eye that shows up when he's really enjoying himself. My folks got me Serenity on DVD, so we watched that too. Also a hit. We're hoping to go see Narnia or maybe King Kong as a family once everyone's feeling better. It's no fun to go do something like that with half the people being sick.

Mom's really enjoying the books we got her - a couple of huge volumes by Hugh Nibley. She's just devouring them. I always enjoy seeing her get so involved in her reading. It's good to remind myself sometimes that reading can be something to do for fun, instead of just work. Actually, on the flight here I got about halfway through Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. I'm enjoying it. I think I'll finish it on the flight back.

Ashley's started a huge scrapbooking project to hold all of her memorabilia from her semester in China. There's bits of colorful paper and such all about the house. She brought back some amazing photographs. A lot of the pictures are of the people she went with, and so not terribly exciting if you don't know them. But others are just stunningly gorgeous. Apparently one of her friends there knows a ton about photography and she set up some great shots. I'll try to get some copies and post them here. I'm not sure if they'll be as impressive online as the prints Ashley had made from the digital files though.

Daniel's been spending most of his free time with his high school buddies Tom and Nick. They're good guys. The three of them are currently playing through Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones on the GameCube. But between that and Daniel being sick, I've not seen much of him.

My dad and I have been trucking through Lego Star Wars. The game is a hoot in co-op mode. There's just something about lightsaber battles with little lego men. Force pushing droids into walls is a lot of fun too. We're about two-thirds of the way through the game right now, but we've been going back to collect all the secret items. It's a bit slower going when you try to find all of that stuff.

I've been playing a fair bit of FFXI while I'm here. I've been taking part in a bunch of organized group activities in the game. It's a bunch of fun to run around wreaking havoc with a bunch of friends in that game. At this point the folks I play with all really know there stuff so we can go do crazy things and have a chance at surviving :)

I actually got a digital camera for Christmas. I'm really excited about it. It's a Canon PowerShot A520 - same model as Miriam's new camera, actually. I went yesterday and picked up a 1GB memory card, a carrying case, and a rechargable battery kit. I'm looking forward to shooting a bunch of photos, and posting up some good ones here! Ashley picked out the camera, actually. She got some advice from her photographer friend, and picked out a good model. Ashley's got a surprising amount of aptitude when it comes to things like that. She's not a camera afficionado, but she knows how to find out the right questions to ask to find the right model for someone who is. She's not a car buff, but she helped dad pick out the car he really wanted.

Outside of being horribly sick, it's been a pleasant, low-key vacation.

This Blog Kills Fascists

Do please note that I have huge respect for musical Artists. Just not the industry that publishes them.

And now it seems I've officially overcome my virus, only to be hit hard by bronchitis. It really really sucks. I'm so drugged up right now it's not even funny. Can't talk for fear of hacking out living chunks of my lungs and trachea. I was a bit surprised to have gotten this, as usually I'm the best-off in my family when it comes to breathing issues. I'm the only one without asthma, and I've never had the big nasty B before. *sigh* *cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough*

Comfortably Numb

Whenever I'm sufficiently sick, or sufficiently tired, music affects me differently. Currently I'm listening to the CDs Daniel and I got for Ashley for Christmas. They've both got a folks-bluesy rock feel to them. Dar Williams and Martin Sexton are the artists. I'm quite enjoying them. But somehow the music goes right past my mental filters and hits me right in my heart. It's really unusual. I can tell that the music is good, but currently I'm totally incapable of telling you what I'll be impressed with tomorrow and what I'll think is just clever songwriting.

Now for a quick rant on why I hate being called a "consumer." Especially when it comes to the music industry.

I've got a horrid hacking cough at the moment. Yet, it's what is called 'productive' by virtue of the volumes of phlegm I'm pouring into an increasingly large pile of tissue in a small wastebasket at my feet. In this metaphorical system I am a Producer. Big-P.

What does this make the rest of us? Consumers. Of what?

...

That would be "the main product of the music industry."

hork.

Sick. Christmas nice, sleep more now. Talk to you later.

Jung at Heart

So, I fell onto the bandwagon and took a simplified online version of the Myers-Briggs personality test. Let's see how it matches up with the other folks doing so in this little blogging enclave.

Your Type is INTJ

Introverted	Intuitive	Thinking	Judging
Strength of the preferences %
44	38	12	33

Qualitative analysis of your type formula You are:

• moderately expressed introvert
• moderately expressed intuitive personality
• slightly expressed thinking personality
• moderately expressed judging personality

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging by Marina Margaret Heiss

Profile: INTJ Revision: 3.0 Date of Revision: 27 Feb 2005

---

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know. This definitely rings true to me.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake. This is close, but I get bogged down more than I'd like.

INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; truth! both perfectionism and disregard for authority very much so may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations. This sounds familiar...

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience yes and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people absolutely, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. I get this complaint a lot. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) Truly a weakness if there ever was one ;)This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness. Heh. Yep.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. That phrase is eerily famliar. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications. Sounds about right.

All in all I think it's pretty accurate.

---

Functional Analysis by Joe Butt

Introverted iNtuition

INTJs are idea people. Anything is possible; everything is negotiable. Whatever the outer circumstances, INTJs are ever perceiving inner pattern-forms yes and using real-world materials to operationalize them. Others may see what is and wonder why; INTJs see what might be and say "Why not?!" Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously. Absolutely. INTJs enjoy developing unique solutions to complex problems.It's so much fun!

Extraverted Thinking

Thinking in this auxiliary role is a workhorse. Closure is the payoff for efforts expended. Evaluation begs diagnosis; product drives process. As they come to light, Thinking tends, protects, affirms and directs iNtuition's offspring, fully equipping them for fulfilling and useful lives. A faithful pedagogue, Thinking argues not so much on its own behalf, but in defense of its charges. And once you understand that, you'll understand me that much better.And through this process these impressionable ideas take on the likeness of their master.

Introverted Feeling

Feeling has a modest inner room, two doors down from the Most Imminent iNtuition. It doesn't get out much, but lends its influence on behalf of causes which are Good and Worthy and Humane. We may catch a glimpse of it in the unspoken attitude of good will, or the gracious smile or nod. Some question the existence of Feeling in this type, yet its unseen balance to Thinking is a cardinal dimension in the full measure of the INTJ's soul.

Extraverted Sensing

Sensing serves with a good will, or not at all. As other inferior functions, it has only a rudimentary awareness of context, amount or degree. Thus INTJs sweat the details or, at times, omit them. "I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts" could well have been said by an INTJ on a mission. Sensing's extraverted attitude is evident in this type's bent to savor sensations rather than to merely categorize them. Indiscretions of indulgence are likely an expression of the unconscious vengeance of the inferior.

Famous INTJs:

• Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
• Susan B. Anthony
• Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus) Cool!
• Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)
• Chevy Chase (Cornelius Crane) (Fletch)
• Phil Donahue
• Hannibal, Carthaginian military leader Also cool!
• Angela Lansbury (Murder, She Wrote)
• Peter Jennings
• C. S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia) I need to go read more of his stuff now.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California
• Rudy Giuliani, former New York City mayor
• General Colin Powell, US Secretary of State
• Lance Armstrong Nifty.

U.S. Presidents:

Chester A. Arthur

Calvin Coolidge

Thomas Jefferson

John F. Kennedy

James K. Polk

Woodrow Wilson

Fictional:

Cassius (Julius Caesar) Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) Buahaha. Gandalf the Grey (J. R. R. Tolkein's Middle Earth books) Interesting. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs) Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes' nemesis Ensign Ro (Star Trek--the Next Generation) Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (Hamlet) George Smiley, John le Carre's master spy Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)

Copyright © 1996-2005 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt

---

Now for the listing of how I relate to the others who have taken this personality sorter!

• ISFJ: Pratt - enigma - a puzzle: totally foreign in nearly every facet
• ENFP: Brad - pedagogue - each is both the other's mentor and student: has a "parent to child" feel
• INFP: Robert - advisor - each has an area of insight that the other lacks
• ENFJ: Miriam, Jill - tribesman - share a sense of culture, but with different interests and abilities
• INTP: Matt - complement - compatible strengths with opposite emphases
• ISTJ: Roxanne - neighbor - arrive at the same place by variant processes

Whew! I think that's it for this post. It's definitely given me some food for thought.

Influenca

Looks like I've been upgraded to Flu status. On some completely unrelated notes, I have hooked my folks on Firefly. They've watched the first two discs of four between yesterday and today. My dad got a new laptop at work. Unfortunately he's not got administrative access, so our project over break is to crack the admin account so that he can get on with his work. I'm making good progress on that front.

Hack

Now playing : Dancing Mad (FFVI) by The Black Mages Everyone in my family's got a miserable cold now. I'm coping by living in the basement with the space heater running, playing video games and listening to music. Its kinda weird - I've gone almost an entire day without seeing anyone, due to all of us taking longish naps periodically throughout the day. It's a bit lonely, actually.

Cell Phone Inquiry

Ok, I need to know something. What cell phone services are y'all using? What network and plan and whatnot? The family here's starting a cell phone plan investigation to see if something would suit our needs.

Dinner With the Hearns

James: So, what was the wierdest thing you ate while you were in China? Ashley: Hmmm. Probably the duck blood. Daniel: Duck blood? Ashley: Yep. It was kind of like a JELL-O, but it was blood. James: And you ate it? Ashley: Mmmhmm. James: Well, what was good that you hadn't tried before? Ashley: I really liked the lotus root. It was kind of crunchy, like a carrot. James: Did you try anything that you really didn't like? Ashley: Yeah, I didn't like the donkey we had. James + Daniel: Donkey?! Ashley: Yup. You know how burrito means "little donkey"? Well, this was donkey. I didn't like it very much. Daniel: What did it taste like? James: It probably tasted like ass. *beat* The rest of the table erupts turns bright red and erupts into laughter.

Comments

A few comments to throw out before taking off for St. Louis. (Though, in all honesty, I'll probably update more from there than I ever do here.) I'll be doing all my Christmas shopping in St. Louis, so look forward to all that gifty jazz upon my return. I'll be getting my baking done then as well. I'm looking forward to break for a variety of reasons. Seeing family, getting real food, having access to a car (a nice nice one), soaking in the hot tub, playing computer games... It should be nice.

Another Letter

I feel that I should clarify a bit about the context of this letter. I started writing it on Friday the 2nd of December. I had been planning to pen it by hand and give it to Miriam, but for a variety of (mostly stupid) reasons I hadn't shown it to her until I posted it here, tonight. --James Miriam, A few days ago you said that you felt like you didn't know why I love you. Maybe I haven't expressed myself well enough. There are so many ways I love you that I've had to take a few days to figure out how to write them all down. You care about your friends, and find ways to show it. Whether it's making cookies for Nate when he was feeling down, or looking out for Brad when he's hard up for food, you always seem to know just what to do for people. You are shockingly intelligent. You understand so many things, and always bring a unique perspective to a conversation. You are sensitive to the spirit of things. You look behind the facades that so many people, ideas, and activities project and see their true faces. You understand people, and read them well. And you try to use this understanding for their benefit, rather than your own. You have a deep and personal testimony. The faith that you've expressed to me is sincere and heartfelt, and inspires me to lift up my eyes and pick up my pace. You are talented, creative, and artistic. You are eloquent both in speech, in thought, and in writing. You can express things through images in ways that astound me. You are beautiful. You have a sense of style and poise that is rare. You are a classy lady, and I love it. I love how you get this little crinkle at the corners of your mouth when you smile. Somehow you always manage to cheer me up when I feel morose or uncertain. Whether I feel sick, depressed, or just plain gloomy, talking with you always lifts my spirits. You have a sense of responsibility and maturity which belies your years. You think and plan ahead, and do what must be done to make your dreams real. You have a love of language, and know how to write words which resonate in the mind of the reader, or which linger in the ears of the listener. I love conversing with you, in any medium. You know the worth of things, both spiritually and financially. You see how to live life fully and without waste. You care about family. You watch out for both your current family and the one that is yet to be. Miriam, you're always on my mind. I want for you to be happy. It pains me to argue with you, or even to just loudly disagree. I worry when I see distress etched on your brow. I see the love you have for me, and I want for this love we share to continue to strengthen and deepen. I hope that this letter helps you to understand, even a little bit, what I see in you. I've written this down so that you can have it to hold and to keep. Remember what I've said here, whenever I say the words "I love you." Miriam, I love you. James

Letter of Resignation

Miriam, We spoke last night about how you thought it would be best for us to stop dating and to just be friends. I was very disappointed, but I could see why you would feel the way you do. You said that you would leave the door open for the future, but that you would have to see some fairly deep changes on my part before you could even consider dating. After having some time to reflect upon the course of our relationship, I feel the same way about you. It wasn't until after running into you after lunch today that I realized that more than anything, I now feel relief about being apart. I thought that this was an odd reaction, and tried to figure out what would make me feel this way. After giving the matter some reflection, I think I finally understand. I have a hard time assigning blame to others in any sort of conflict. I try to do everything in my power to smooth things over, even at my own expense. I'm a peacemaker to my core. I can see multiple sides of any argument, and can make a case for most of them. Even the ones I disagree with. After a while though, denying myself to satisfy others ceases to be peacemaking, and becomes appeasement. Any relationship which has reached that point is a very unhealthy one. You asked many things of me during our ten weeks together. Some of them were good and right, and I thank you for that. You reminded me of some things that are important to me, things that I had almost given up on. I am happier with myself than I have been in a long time. Other things you asked that I could not in good conscience give. You asked that I give up media that I believe to teach good and right principles because they deal with subject matter that disturbs you. You asked me to ignore a good friend of mine because you were paranoid that I would leave you for her. You asked for all of my free time, and even some that was not free. You pressed me into doing things that I knew were wrong, in a misguided attempt to test me. You asked that I cater to your every fear and worry, and that I try to be super-human in my treatment of you. I tried to give you these things, even when I should have realized that they are against my best interest. A relationship has to be founded upon trust and respect, and I received very little of that from you. You have a very specific set of things you are looking for in a boyfriend. You call them "standards," and try to frame them as being matters of right and wrong. In the end though, they deal not with issues of morality, but with attempting to protect yourself from any sort of contact with certain issues that frighten you. You brook no alternative points of view. Even honest and righteous ones. Your fear of being hurt or disappointed serves only to make you more vulnerable. You said last night that every week since the third week we were dating, you've cried yourself to sleep some nights. You even said that it was over minutiae. The fear and paranoia and lack of trust which prompts such responses is unhealthy, and will only bring you more unwarranted pain in the future. I will not claim to have been perfect. I made several stupid mistakes over the course of our relationship, but I recognized them, dealt with them, and did my utmost to not make them again. I put enormous effort into treating you with the respect and love you deserve. Last night you told me a bit of what you are looking for in a relationship, and I was saddened to hear that it can be summed up as being someone who agrees with you in every way on certain topics you find painful. A person who sacrifices themself for you, without asking anything in return. I do not think that you will ever find such a person. If you were to find one, those qualities will not ever bring you true happiness. I tried to be that person for a while. I thought it would make you happy. Somehow I twisted my perceptions to see all of the faults and weakness in myself which you perceived to be there. I became very unhappy and distressed when it became apparent that no amount of change or agreement other than utter submission would suffice. I tried to ignore that I was breaking myself apart. I have seen us drifting away over the last few weeks. I redoubled my efforts to make this relationship work. But the fundamental dissonance inherent in what I attempted to achieve made the endeavor futile. Now that I am free from the impossible expectations you set, I feel at peace with myself. I have to thank you for the kindest break-up ever. I'm happy to realize that I believe we can be good friends. I still have great respect for you, and see so many admirable qualities in you. I look forward to associating with you without feeling that I need to force myself into a mould that does not fit. I feel that I come out of this relationship a better person. I am stronger, healthier, and happier. I am glad to have spent these last few months with you. I still care about you deeply, but for my own sake I can no longer be beholden to you. Miriam, I'm grateful for your friendship. I'm disappointed at breaking up; nobody ever wants to see a relationship founder. But until you conquer some of these demons that you allow to rule you, we can have nothing more than friendship. Gently, James

力

Today was an enjoyable day. I got call in the morning, requesting that I provide a reference for Brad on one of his job applications. I was a bit groggy at the time, but managed to make a positive impression. Brad got the job today, and that's what matters. Work was a blast today. I clocked in at nine hours for the day. I spent all day writing shiny new code for the network discovery code. It's designed to scan the entire BYU network and report back all the things it finds. There's a crufty old version which is just broken, and I'm working on the replacement. Now that I've got some decent processes in place, writing and modifying code is just a breeze. Eclipse + CVS + Wiki makes for a very pleasant development environment. Though I think Eclipse has a very beta feel to it. It needs polish badly. The foundation is there, but the UI is arcane and there are way too many ways (most of them completely unexpected) to do the exact same things. Are you reading this, IBM? The Film Forum was showing "The Greatest American Hero." It's a cheesy 80's TV series about a schoolteacher who is gifted a pair of PJs that give him superpowers. The pilot was fun enough, but I was ready to go before the next episode started playing. Oh well. It was fun to hear Matt laugh from across the room and set off a chain reaction of titters. Afterwards we drifted towards Leatherby's Creamery. There was quite the group - about 18 I think. Much fun and laughter was had. And food. Lots of food. Primarily ice cream. Which included that melted peanut butter topping. Wow that stuff is good. Tonight was the first time I've actually felt cold this Winter. Matt and I were estimating temperatures in the single digits. (Fahrenheit). The ice on the sidewalks was the sort of hard pack which doesn't slush about when you step on it. My ears went numb after a while outside. And I was thankful that I've started taking my gloves with me. It was finally enough to be called Cold. We've not yet hit Really Cold yet though. I reserve that for the days when you step outside, only to have the wet crusties in your nose immediately freeze hard. Way Too Cold is when your breath freezes and tinkles on the ground.

Allowances

My good friend Andy left me with this interesting quotation. "One thing I found while trying to write every day is that there's always something interesting going on, you just need to allow yourself to recognize it." So, what's been interesting lately?

• The Synthesis concert was great fun.
• I enjoy writing code at work, rather than doing sysadmin work.
• Casablanca is a great film with refreshingly good dialogue.

I'm not feeling terribly witty at the moment, but I like the idea of finding at least one interesting thing in a day. Today had my mother calling me to ask a simple question. We ended up talking for about two hours. It's been too long since I called home just to say hi. I feel much more grounded somehow.

Thanks

I did not expect to end Thanksgiving Day by filling out a police report.

Chipper

For some reason I'm feeling especially bright and cheerful today. I woke up (because I wanted to!) at 6:30 this morning, which is beyond bizzare for me. I've been so tired the last few months. When I get restful sleep, I'm good to go on about four hours. When I'm tossing and turning, I need about 8-18 hours. The latter makes getting stuff done difficult, to say the least. It's been too long since I've felt this way. It's good to be reminded that happiness doesn't always have to be an illusion.

Words

Words no longer suffice. I must act. Comfort effects no change.

I will not stand idly by and see those I care about be hurt. I will not be an observer only, but a participant. I will not be denied.

Love. Eloquence. Resolve. These are my weapons.

God help those who stand in my way.

Development

Today at work my boss took me aside and we had a serious talk for a while. It looks like things are getting dire in some ways. There's a lot of pressure to get things working again, and the apps guys are threatening to take over if we don't get out some more results. I guess they don't understand the pain involved in being handed a mess of a system which is completely undocumented. The thing is though, that there really is progress being made. It's just not terribly visible. The nice thing is that Brent (my boss) is really rooting for me. He's been shielding me from some of this heat that's coming down, which I really appreciate. And he emphasized really strongly how much he appreciates the work I do. He said he's been really impressed with the work I've done, and the experience I've brought on board here. If push comes to shove, and the apps guys take over the project, he said that he'd push back to get me on that apps team. It was an interesting conversation. Also, I'm changing my work hours from 10:00 - 12:00 and 4:00 - 6:00 Monday through Friday. That gets me more one-on-one time with Brent, and means I don't have to kill myself trying to get up for work at 8:00 AM every morning. This change should really take some stress off of my shoulders.

I knew that JParish kid was going places.

Jeremy Parish reviews WarioWare. Seriously, I knew the guy when he was still indy. Well, in that "we frequented the same geeky online forums" sort of way. Personally, I think I shall adopt a 2-point rating system as well. I like the idea. Actually, I should mention that he's now a key writer over at http://www.1up.com/ , which is one of my gaming sites of choice. But I do like that review of WarioWare.

Hobby Stops

I never really know what to write when I sit down to put a post up on this site. I promised myself when I created it that I'd avoid just putting up summaries of my days. I find writing such entries tedious and banal. I'd much rather write about things that really spark my interest in writing about them. On the other hand, so many things that go on in my life feel very personal and private to me, and I don't feel comfortable putting them up for public review. Those are the sorts of things that I converse about in person. I suppose I could write a bit about some of the hobbies I've been pursuing lately. Warhammer So I've been conned into letting myself get interested in Warhammer 40k. That Warhammer recruiting event I planned was way too successful. I picked up a codex for the Tau race, and got a Tau XV8 Crisis Battlesuit. Someone please come console my poor wallet. I've been patiently cutting, filing, gluing, filling, sanding, puttying, and spraying the little bits of plastic. I had a fair number of the tools and supplies I've needed from previous modelling projects, but needed some more to be effective. Fortunately, I found a great hobby shop named Hobby Stop up by University Mall in Orem. They're focused more on things like military models and model trains, but the supplies and prices are great. The more I read online about how most people put these things together, the more I realise how differently I'm going about it. But then, I think all of the Tau color schemes I've seen are horrendous. Some people have no taste, I suppose. Or maybe it's me with no taste, seeing as I'm going for a purple-and-green mecha scheme. I'm feeling kind of inspired by the Vanu Sovereignty, I guess. Shadow of the Colossus I rented this game the other day, and have been playing it on various borrowed PS2s. It's been a while since I've done any real console gaming, and I'm very glad that I checked this one out. This game is gorgeous, atmospheric, deep, and thoughtful. The controls are spot-on. They're simple to understand, but harbor a depth that allows for pulling off amazing stunts without thinking about them. Hmm. I think I want to go over this game in more detail soon. So I'll just say that if you've been wondering if you should try this game, the answer is yes. Twilight Imperium, 3rd. Ed. This was the board game that I picked out for myself for my birthday this October. I've not had time to play a full game yet, but that will happen this Saturday, hopefully. From what I've seen so far though, it seems to be the kind of game I've always wanted to play. The game bits are gorgeous and huge - it takes some serious table space to play. You've got all of the races from 1st and 2nd edition, as well as some newcomers, I believe. The game has had a serious rules overhaul as well. It's borrowed some of the elegant mechanics from the new-style German games like Puerto Rico. The game also has much less downtime for players. Instead of huge monolithic turns, things are split up into short actions that move very quickly among players. I look forward to seeing how it plays out in a full game.

TBA

Well, I promised a few people a post by this morning. Here it is.

I Wonder Why

For some reason, today I feel at peace.

So Much Hate

I write this post from my Math 113 lecture. I brought my laptop today; I don't think I could stand another straight lecture without snapping. I hate this class, I hate this professor, I hate this homework, I hate these exams. The odd thing is that I love math, and Calculus, and have even considered getting a minor in Math. I don't know what it is about this class that enrages me so much. Well, maybe I do. I hate being forced to cover ground that I had already mastered in High School. I took AP Calculus, and scored a 5 on the AP exam. I did get credit for Math 112 - Calc. I, but 113 I still have to take. I think that this is the most extraordinarily demotivated I have ever been. I pray that I can somehow pass this class, and never speak of it again. I would have taken it via Independent Study, but only 112 is offered by that method. If I can survive this semester with a reasonable grade, I will be sitting pretty academically. Maybe I will finally be able to let go of my hate.

Fun. Adventure. Excitement. Birthday.

This last weekend has been full of memorable experiences. I suppose it all began with the trip to the Castle of Chaos. After a bit of a wait we left from the WSC and began our trek to the nightmare realm. Miriam and I rode with Matt, who had a plan to avoid the interstate highway. At 6:00 on a Friday afternoon, it often comes to a standstill. We headed North on University Avenue, and then went down a variety of major streets through the various little enclaves that comprise the Utah Valley suburban complex. After a while though it seemed we had taken a wrong turn. We ended up just getting back on the freeway near Thanksgiving Point, which made moot the attempt to get past the Point of the Mountain without getting on the freeway. It all worked out though, as all three cars arrived within a couple of minutes of each other. The castle itself was a sight to see. It all took place in a largish building that had the sort of feel of a community theater. Upon asking our ghoulish host what the building was used for the rest of the year, he replied that it was used for various LARPing activities. We all laughed at this and told him that we were with Quark, the BYU Sci-Fi and Fantasy club. It was a bit strange, sharing a bonding moment with the undead. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the festivities were in force even in the parking lot. As we arrived we were led to a parking spot by a quite large werewolf. Very large. He seemed to have pneumatic stilts, which both made him exceedingly tall and gave him an odd lumbering gait. He ended up being quite friendly though. We eventually fed him some of Miriam's homebaked cookies and tamed the savage beast. Though, not until after he had gotten her to jump several times. He was quite skilled at sneaking up behind her. Most amusing. We ended up splitting in to two groups of six, each with the various roles assigned to its members. We had Fear Fanatics, Mental Patients, FBI Agents, Egyptologists, Tabloid Reporters, and others. I ended up being an FBI Agent myself. I do wish that they had issued me a sidearm though. The legions of hell, while suprisingly friendly, still made me wish I'd had some heat to pack. As we made our way through various dungeons and charnel houses and mysterious mansions, I was impressed by the level of detail paid to everything. There was a room with the various portions of a woman hanging from meat hooks. And the floor was sticky. It was a subtle effect, but gruesomely appropriate. The shifting maze which led to a trap room had walls which would swing back and forth to change the paths available, but it was impossible to tell which were which. We were dependent upon the resident ghosts to lead us out again. Each of the performers seemed to really enjoy depicting the legions of the damned, and that attitude really made the experience fun. Not that it wasn't creepy and disturbing. But there was a charm that permeated the entire experience that really leaves me with a smile as I remember it. As we arrived back in Provo, we decided to go give Applebee's a call. As I went in to inform them that I had a party of eleven coming, but that it would be a few minutes before they all arrived, I grinned as they gave me dirty looks and said it would be a few minutes before they could get such a table together. I felt a bit bad for the other patrons as this raucous group took over the restaurant. We had silly restaurant tricks being performed in full force. I was even convinced to pull out the old double-reeded drinking straw musical instrument routine. It's been years since I had last done that. The meal itself was kind of secondary to the company of friends. I ordered the "Fajitas con Sizzle", after a conversation about how that name managed to butcher several languages at once. We soon segued into trying to define the word "sizzle" to our Russian friend Ilya, who was wondering what it meant. It's surprisingly hard to define. We fumbled around for a bit until we were at least able to say that it's a sound made when cooking with oil. We didn't get much further than that. Sadly, when my fajitas arrived, there was no sizzle to be heard. They had cooled off too much while waiting for the other meals to be ready, I suppose. It did remind me why I'm not a huge fan of Applebee's. The prices are a bit too high for the service rendered and for the menu selections and preparation available. At those prices I'd prefer a place like T.G.I. Friday's. And the evening continued! Matt, Pratt, Miriam, and I descended like locusts upon my apartment, promptly driving out the other roommates and company. (I jest. Slightly.) We ended up watching Tron and having a grand old time. I had never before seen Tron, to the shock and despair of my compatriots. The highlights of the night included predicting dialogue before it was spoken. As Flynn opens up an enormous security door I said "Now that's a big door!" only to be parroted later by Flynn himself with the brilliant remark "Now, that's a big door!" Then we all proceeded to poke fun at the obligatory useless female program waiting to be rescued. We were rather inspired by the costume design though. I think we may attempt to put together some Tron costumes for the Quark Halloween Social later this month. Saturday ended up being eventful as well. I did manage to have my birthday party, despite all the portents that opposed it. Despite cars blowing tires and people suddenly needing rides and last-minute invitations, everyone managed to arrive, and in good spirits even. Cake was eaten, Reese's peanut butter cups were distributed, and Donkey Konga was played. Despite being cut off early for the Evangelion marathon later Saturday evening, I pronounce it a success. The marathon itself I think was less so. Perhaps I was just not in the mood, but I found the room crowded, the floor uncomfortable, the pacing slow, and the Nate irritable. The Pratt cake was great though. It was a carrot cake with homemade cream cheese frosting. That style of frosting is absolutely my favorite. It's got much more to its flavor than the sickly sweet taste of so many other frostings. Sitting around my kitchen table afterwards with Pratt and Matt was a great endcap to the night though. We talked about firearms and weaponry, war stories, our favorite battles in fiction, and various other manly subjects. It was nice to be able to talk about the Wheel of Time series with guys who like it and know it as much or more than I do. I'm looking forward to tomorrow night when we'll get together and roll up some characters for the WoT RPG campaign that's brewing. I'm looking forward to seeing how that develops. Sunday, my actual birthday, was a bit of a mixed bag. I was awoken very early that morning, about 5:30, by the phone ringing. In my groggy stupor it took me a few minutes to realize that the caller was my sister Ashley, wishing me a happy birthday from her apartment in Nanjing, China. She's always been great about remembering such things. I'm a horrible lout in comparison. It sounds like she's having a great time in China. Last week was a holiday week, so she and her friends toured around the countryside and the neighboring cities, watching festivals and seeing temples. I'm so excited to hear about everything going on there, even if it's just by proxy. She sounded happy to hear from me, after making some concessions for my half-awake state of being. It was nice to be able to tell her about all the recent developments in my life, too. I feel sometimes like everything here is the same-old same-old. School and work and Quark do tend to wear out their storytelling welcome after a while. After falling back asleep, I woke up to discover that I had slept through Church. I was really disconcerted; it had been weeks since I'd done that. I hate missing it. It's a chance I get each week to renew myself, and there are commitments I've made that require me to be there. I suppose all I can do is to do better next week. I am pleased to note that I've felt more spiritually in tune lately than I have in... a very long time. There is a peace in my life, despite all of the stresses and trials of late, and I am very grateful for it. After doing some cleaning and laundry about the house, I lured Miriam over with the promise of pancakes and cantaloupe. We ended up watching Jin-Roh, an intensely sad and underspoken anime film by Mamoru Oshii. He directed the Ghost in the Shell movies and the Patlabor films as well. This film is punctuated by bloody, violent conflict at the beginning, middle, and end portions. It's a bit unusual, because the violence is neither glorified nor demonized. It simply exists, and the camera does not turn away. It is disturbing, but then I suppose it should be. I think that in our culture we too often turn a blind eye to violence, or even promote senseless slaughter of generic "bad guys" in our film and entertainment. There are no faceless people in Jin-Roh. Even the most minor of characters, who may end up dead in moments, show their humanity in the way they look around, or show fear, or push their glasses up on their nose. Yet despite the brutality in the film, I think none of it is senseless. And the majority of time is spent not dwelling on violence, but upon its effect upon the psyche of the protagonist, Fuse. (Foo-say) It explores the question of whether such a man, trained to violence and obedience, can put that aside and be a human being. I'm really not doing the film justice with that description, but it's late so I'll leave it at that. Actually, I'll mention that the animation is absolutely gorgeous, and the score by Mizoguchi Hajime is fantastic. It is a frequent guest on my playlist. One advantage to watching such a film is that any hugs present become tighter during tense scenes. It's probably unwise to abuse such an observation though. I think the next film in the rotation should be Osamu Tezuka's Metropolis, as directed by Rintaro. It's decidedly less depressing, yet also has one of my favorite film scores, and is a great film to boot. The score is a great jazzy affair by Toshiyuki Honda, an honest to goodness jazz performer. He mostly does jazz albums, rather than films. It's a treat to listen to. Metropolis itself is a fascinating movie visually and from a storytelling standpoint as well. In any case, after Jin-Roh we retired to the kitchen and.. didn't have pancakes. The cantaloupe was decent though, despite looking a bit overripe at first. The leftovers from Applebee's the night before sated our hunger without all the preparation needed for pancakes. We talked for a while, then reluctantly parted. It's been an eventful time lately. I hope things settle down a bit so that I can concentrate on my studies this next week, but I wouldn't have things up to now any other way. Here's to the upcoming year following this my twenty-third birthday.

Party Time!

Ok, the time for the party has been pushed forward to 5:00. This will allow the people who want to go watch Eva to be able to do so.

On a more practical note.

So, I'm assuming that I'll have a riot on my hands if I don't have some kind of party for my birthday. What are people's schedules like this weekend? I know TWL is out of town all weekend. Friday evening is devoted to the Castle of Chaos. I'll be running the Warhammer event Saturday noon to six. And Sunday is generally taken up by church activities. It sounds like either Saturday or Sunday evening would work, maybe. Any thoughts from the peanut gallery?

Building Blocks

Well, it's been long enough since I last posted, I guess. And there's been entirely too much technobabble here for my taste. This is not an episode of Star Trek : The Next Generation. Or even Firefly. Life's been interesting lately, though it took me a while to realize it. There's been exciting news about Nintendo's Revolution, a massive influx of new friends and allies, and that elusive creative urge is finally rising again. It's been impressive to me to see the results of the Quark recruiting drive. We've got a slew of new members. The boards are finally alive again. And we've got new faces at every activity. We're up to about 240 members on the site right now, which I believe is a high. It's not huge compared to many other sites, but each of these memberships is linked to a BYU student. We're probably one of the largest clubs on campus. I've finally gotten myself in gear as the Games VP. I need to take a page out of Kimberly's book and really start getting things planned in advance. This Saturday is the Warhammer event, which has been due for years now. We finally got the critical mass of people necessary to make things lively for tabletop strategy gaming. I have barely any experience with this particular arena myself. I played a bit of the little clix games a while back, and I've painted a few figures in my day, but have never really been sat down to see what it's all about. I know that the people who enjoy this sort of thing really enjoy it. Hopefully I'll see what the appeal is. This weekend should be interesting, all told. Friday evening a slew of people are heading out to the Castle of Chaos haunted house. It sounds like one of the more impressive events of the Halloween season. It bears more of a resemblance to an elaborate horror-themed LARP than anything else, to me. There are puzzles to solve and prizes to be won. Saturday, then, is the hubbub of the Games Workshop introduction, and then Sunday is my birthday. I'm feeling a bit ambivalent about that at the moment. A few people are making a fuss out of it, and I'm just wondering if it's something I really want to acknowledge. I'll be turning 23, and I just feel.. behind. I first came out to BYU when I was 17. And now I'm just barely a Junior, with an extremely spotty academic record. I know that I'm being harsh on myself, and that there were extenuating circumstances of many varieties, but... well, I guess I've always been my harshest critic. On the other hand, to look at the way things are heading currently is to see true progress. I've got my health in check. I'm mostly financially self-sufficient. I feel as though I've regained my spiritual grounding. I have a job which I love and find rewarding. And I'm truly enjoying my classes. Well, except for one. But I can live with that. I still feel a sense of apprehension about this Sunday. Perhaps it's nothing and I just need to get over myself. I can see plainly some advantages to being here, now. I'm coming on to my job at a time when there is exciting work to be done, and the foundations I'm laying there will last for a long time. I'm here with my brother, who has really come into his own. I'm glad to have him near. And I've met an amazing girl, with whom I felt an instant bond. We both seem to have felt it, which is unusual and exciting to me. Having the opportunity to spend time here with her is not something I'll easily give up. Anyway, enough about my birthday and my complexes. I've been reading over at Lost Garden quite a bit lately. It's inspired me to put my hand once more to the task of video game creation. I want to start small and simple. Prototype things. Put my growing coding skills to work. Eventually I want to be able to make sweeping vistas and worlds waiting to be explored. But to try that at the first is to ensure failure. I have ideas. I just need to start making them concrete. Actually, that might as well be my motto for this time in my life. It's time to start making things concrete.

pboned

So, I'm trying to get jboss working on my laptop for work. But there is a dearth of proper jpackage-compatible packages for jboss 4.0 . It's quite annoying. I've almost got things working, but there's something funny with classpathx-mail and some sort of jdtCompilerAdapter. jboss can't seem to find the first, though it is there, and I can't figure out where I'm supposed to get the second. blarg

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit.

Those who read my blog may have noticed that quarksff.org is experiencing some difficulties. Namely, web page defacement. It appears that our host has been compromised. It looks like our files and database are intact. I suspect that it was the web server software itself that was hit. I'll see what I can find out about this tomorrow morning. Right now I'm going to flop into bed and try to get some sleep. More as it comes. EDIT: DAMMIT I had a lot of info about what's going on written up as an addendum to this post, but it got lost into the ether. Long story short: I have a full file and DB backup. DB is pristine, all index.* files are mangled. Will need to rebuild Mambo image. I reuploaded index*.* files to the quarksff.org/administrator/ page. That let me get access to the DB. I reuploaded quarksff.org/index.php, but the hacked version is still showing up. Reeks of a cache issue somewhere in the pipe. I paged Dave Rebarchik with a terse message. I hope he will get back to me tomorrow. People, get in contact with me ASAP. I should be available all day tomorrow via AIM and MSN. Nate especially - I think some coordination would be handy here. Now I sleep. I've got about three hours before I have to get up for work. dammit

Minutiae

So, Daniel and I did some shopping today. Amongst other things, I picked up some supplies to fix up my boots. The tread has been separating a bit from the sole, the insoles were quite worn through, and the laces were falling apart. Now that those things are fixed (for about $15 total), it's like having a totally new pair of boots. Except perfectly worn in. It's very comfortable. Anyway, the prompting for this post was a very funny product I saw while we were picking up some chemicals needed to maintain the water in the hot tub. Water Moisturizer A very silly name, I thought. Isn't water the definition of moisture? As it turns out, this was a product to put in one's hot tub to cause the water to act as a skin moisturizer. When you've got the chlorine in there, it tends to dry you out. But still...

Winding Down

Well, it's Sunday night here, and all's quiet. I'm starting to get antsy to get back to Provo. Daniel and I are flying out Wednesday evening, and will be getting to Provo with a ride from my dad, who will be in Ogden all week. It's been a nice week. I actually did some work for my boss. He's really missing me though - apparently a lot has hit the fan the last couple of weeks, and there's only so much I can do remotely. Fortunately I think that I'll be able to start laying down new code when I go in Thursday morning. I went shooting again with my dad and brother this weekend. Put some rounds through the .30-06 and the .30-30 . I had very nice results with the .30-06, but the I was pretty embarrased by my performance with my .30-30 . It's got iron sights rather than a scope. I guess I need some serious practice with that. I was barely on the paper at 50 yards, which is really odd. I remember being much more accurate than that. On the other hand, I don't believe that rifle's been sighted in in a few years, and we've moved since it was. Perhaps the sights got jostled? Also this weekend I went to see Batman Begins with dad and Daniel. I'd seen it before at the theater at Thanksgiving Point in Utah, and it was good, but this was quite the experience. It was at a nearby brand-new theater, and on their "Megascreen." The screen was enormous. And despite being a dark movie visually, the film was very well-projected and easy to watch. The sound system and furnishings were very nice too. Steeply angled stadium seating with very cushy chairs. I've been listening to lots and lots of music this week. I'm actually sitting on the couch in the basement right now, with the stereo running of of my iPod. I think I've listened to somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 tracks this week. We've been getting my brother packed the last couple of days. It's a bit of a pain to move someone across the country with only two suitcases worth of space. That's a bit of an exaggeration though; my dad's taking a large suitcase of sheets, towels, winter clothes, that sort of thing. And I'm carrying some stuff for him as well. Sadly though, Daniel will be taking the desktop when he arrives, or shortly thereafter. I need to get all of my data and hardware out of the tower before I hand it off to him. Oh well, at least I've proven to myself that I can play FFXI decently enough using just the laptop. Speaking of FFXI, I had a bit of a wierd exchange the other night. I was playing, and my dad came over to see what was up. We ended up having a detailed discussion about some of the finer intricacies of the game. Skillchains, Weapon Skills, Magic Bursts, hate management, elemental affinities... he was genuinely interested. It was fun. Ok, this next paragraph is for those who care about FFXI. I've done some playing while I've been here. I managed to claw my way up to THF 45, and then went - and finally obtained - a pair of Bounding Boots. So there's two long-term goals met. I spent a chunk of time trying to acquire an Empress Hairpin, but so far I've only managed to watch a few other players get theirs instead. I've also done some hunting in the game, and managed to get together about a quarter-million gil worth of items. I'm going to wait on selling them for a bit though. Selling prices tend to rise, and I don't plan on playing again for a fair chunk of time. I've got too much that will need to get done over the next while. I'm finally going to open a credit card account. I'll be doing that tomorrow. It's with USAA, who does all the banking and insurance for members of the US military. I'm eligible for their services due to my dad's time spent in the Navy. The card is kind of a starter card - $1000 limit. But the APR is only 10%, which is quite competitive. And USAA has always given our family good service. I'm opening a checking account with them as well, and my overdraft protection links into my credit account. That will be a big help. I'm planning on having all of my wages go into the USAA account, and then I'll pay all of my bills and write checks from that account. I'll move my account with my current St. Louis credit union into more of a maintenance mode. The handy thing about that account is that my mom is a co-signer, which means that she can deposit money directly into it if there's a problem while I'm in Provo. All put together this means that I'll have a little bit more flexibility than I've had with just my checking account. Hopefully I'll be stressing less about money here soon. All in all, I'm feeling rejuvenated after having been here this last week and a few days. Here's to hoping things will go smoothly upon my return.

Target Practice

Ok, here's the scan of the target that I promised.

Interesting Times

Hey, I'm making this post from St. Louis. It's good to be here, though I'm sure I'll be going stir-crazy by the end of my stay... Hmm. What's happened since my last post? Well, I got things squared away with regards to classwork. Said goodbye to some friends and headed for the airport. Many thanks to Scion for the ride; it was a real life-saver. Last Thursday evening I spoke with my old freshman buddy Neil and his wife. They dropped by my place to return the Escaflowne discs they had borrowed. It was good to see them again - I think we're going to try to get together more this next semester. They're both at BYU for about two more years, so I hope to become friends with them. We spoke for quite a while; they're both interested in doing some Nobilis. Perhaps this Spring that will finally work out. They are also going to lend me their copy of Firefly on DVD. I've heard very good things about that. I'd like to watch it with some folks before Serenity hits the theaters in September. My flight to St. Louis was largely uneventful, and I feel kind of jaded. The allure of air travel has largely worn off on me. It seems like a glorified bus system these days; there's no glamor in it. When I was younger, I was so fascinated by airplanes and flying machines. I still am, but there's no thrill in commercial flights for me anymore. I still want to get a pilot's license though... It's good to see my family again. The night I got here we ended up going to the Mimi's Cafe here in Chesterfield. It was good, though quite crowded for some reason. We all ended up coming home with boxes of leftovers. I had the apple-cider glazed pork chops. They were good, but not quite as strong as I like food to be. After dinner we went to a local rec center where the St. Louis Philharmonic was having a fund-raising concert. "Brass and Sass" It was a bit of a let-down, but it was decent enough. We'd been expecting a bit more of a "Pops in the Park" sort of atmosphere, but this was very much a fundraiser. The numbers performed tended towards uninspired arrangements of show tunes. And there were a lot more strings than brass. The acoustics in the auditorium (really a gymnasium) were awful. Still, the guest performer was amazing. It was Robert Romm, who was a founding member of the Canadian Brass. His trumpet performance basically made the show for me. He performed the Carnival of Venice, the Trumpeter's Lullaby, and others. Mostly his wife accompanied him on piano, though a few pieces were performed with the orchestra. He was spectacular. A lot of fun to listen to. The rest was less than stellar, but I'm glad I went and had the opportunity to see him perform. One of the first things I did here at home was to swap in my wireless router for the switch already networking the PCs together. That got me access from my laptop to the internet. It's working out quite well. I was up until 2 AM last night playing FFXI while my sister and her friends took over the basement. My bedroom's right off of the rec room down there, and I couldn't sleep for all the Karaoke Revolution happening... I'm typing this message up right now from the couch in the basement while listening to my iPod on the stereo system. It's quite nice. Speaking of the stereo, Daniel (my younger brother who's coming out to BYU when I return) did something pretty cool to it. The left and right speakers are Cerwin-Vega models from about 1980. They'd been getting a bit long in the tooth, and having trouble reproducing bass sounds. It turns out that the foam mounting that connects the drivers to the enclosure had totally rotted out and was causing the problems. So he got a $20 foam mount kit for this model of speaker and remounted the drivers. All of a sudden these speakers became awesome. They sound better than they have for as long as I've listened to them. And they produce massive bass. Shake-the-house bass. And with better tone than any subwoofer I've heard. Apparently the woofer drivers on these speakers are still quite popular. People mount them in their cars, or build sub enclosures for them. In any case, sitting here listening to the Black Mages while typing is quite the pleasure. I'm planning on watching Naqoyqatsi while I'm here. I've finally found a place to watch it that can do it aural justice. Don't Phillip Glass and Yo-yo Ma deserve the best? I'm going to hook my laptop up to it here shortly and try some FFXI. Give those battles some audio oomph. It might be overkill though. We'll see. One thing I love about being here in St. Louis is that I've basically got the basement to myself. That's where all the entertainment equipment is. And it's where my bedroom is. Since nobody upstairs can hear a thing I'm doing, even if it's extremely loud, I've basically got free reign down here. So I can crank the stereo at midnight, and nobody cares. It's perfect. On Saturday my dad and Daniel and I went down to a local firing range. I've been looking forward to it for a while now, and it was quite a lot of fun. We shot trap first. My dad's really good. Daniel did ok. I was not so hot, missing every clay pigeon on the first round of 25 shots. That was with the 20-gauge pump-action shotgun. On my second set though, I hit about 2 or 3 for every 5 pigeons. They were clean hits too. That time I was using my grandfather's semi-auto 12-gauge. I've always been much better with rifles than shotguns, so it was very gratifying to actually hit something for a change. We had planned to shoot the rifles and then the handguns after trap, but we had to stop early due to a lightning storm. But before we had to leave, I did get to shoot the .30-06. It was my dad's bolt-action deer gun, and I'd never really fired it before. Man, that'll leave your shoulder sore afterwards. I was shooting at 100 yards, with scope. I was pretty pleased with my performance. I put three rounds within an inch-diameter circle, with the two shots I thought'd "gone wild" about an inch to either side. I was generally a bit low and to the left, but it was the sort of thing that would adjust easily to fall right on the bull with a bit of sighting-in. I've actually scanned in my target, so I'll probably get that posted in a day or so. If I'd had another chance to shoot before the rain came in, I think I could have done much better, but three shots under an inch apart is not bad at all. I suspect that Dad and I will get out to the range again next weekend, which should be a lot of fun. It's not certain that we'll be going again though. We'll see what the schedule looks like. My dad and brother and I went down to the Bass Pro Shop when the rain came up. We bummed around there for a while there, looked at firearms, that sort of thing. I fell in love with the Benelli Black Eagle semi-auto shotgun I looked at there. We looked at a number over over-unders and semi-auto shotguns with the clerk there, but this one was a cut above the rest. It was a matte black, and very lightweight. But what set it apart was that when I threw it up to my shoulder and looked at the sight, it was perfectly aligned with my eye. It did this every time. All of the other guns took some adjusting at my shoulder to get the sight aligned. The Benelli was just dead on center. It fit. It's good to see the family again. It will probably be about a year before we're all back together. Ashley's heading out to Nanjing, China, with a BYU study abroad program. She's flying out to Provo on Monday, and from there to Nanjing. She's excited about it, but a little nervous. That's to be expected, I guess. She won't be back until after Winter semester. My mom's worried about her, but trying not to show it too much. When I fly back to Provo, my brother Daniel will be coming with me. He'll be a freshman in Computer Engineering. He's a good guy, and I look forward to introducing him to all my Provo friends. Mom's worried about being all alone. It's been 20-odd years since it's just been her and my dad at home. She'll find something to do to occupy her time though. Maybe finish up her Ph.D work? I know she's been wanting to do that for a while now. Wow, I think this is my longest blog post yet. I hope all you readers out there consider yourselves lucky :P What can I say, it's interesting times right now. Until later, James

Run Silent, Run Deep

I'm insanely busy with classwork at the moment. If you want to see me for the next week (or maybe two), you'll need to come over Saturday evening around the time of the Last Exile finishing marathon. Outside of that I'm going to be in deep submarine mode. I'm even taking off of work until Tuesday to get on top of things. Wish me luck.

3. 2. 1. Let's Jam.

So I finally found out what this REMIX stuff is all about. And let's just say that it WILL be mine. Bebop is one of the series that is notably absent from my collection. I was holding out against hope to find a copy of the boxset somewhere for a price that wasn't my first-born. But it sounds like I win in the end, with a remastered release. Vol. 1 streets on September 13th, according to www.jazzmess.com, my new favorite Bebop site on the web. So here's the list of anime on my to-buy-sometime list. Hale + Guu Cowboy Bebop REMIX Paranoia Agent vols. 3 and 4. Last Exile Hellsing There are some games on my list too: Half-Life 2 Outcast, DVD release. (EU only!)

RSE

As promised, here's a picture of Fylia in her Racial Specific Equipment. The dagger and shield are the ones I'm using at the moment.

Sex! Death! Laptops!

1. Get shiny new laptop at work. 2. Get lots of cool work done on laptop. 3. Lose it all in awful grinding harddrive failure. 4. Get just enough work done on loaner harddrive to make it look like you should be working at full capacity. 5. Get new hard drive in from Dell. 6. Kill time until a copy of Partition Magic is located such that you can get your linux working environment installed on new drive. <---------------------- You Are Here 7. Post vaguely interesting stuff to blog. 8. Maybe get some real work done sometime? Anyone? Bueller?

The FFXI Junta

Ok. Here's an update for all of you update-ravenous people! I think we've successfully hooked Kimberly upon the FFXI, by way of playing on Troy's account. Mithra Pride, baby! Brad has also gotten his very own FFXI account. We need to get him settled in in the next week or so; that way he can get the Troy-and-James-do-FFXI tour and see what it's all about. For my own self, last night I attained level 10 in Warrior, which I've been putting off doing for a while. Dropped about 40k on gear for the next WAR levelling push. On a whim I also checked out when the next round of Mithra RSE was going to be in Ordelle's Caves. As it turned out it was currently ongoing. I already had the right key to open the treasure chests there in Ordelle's, so I just headed in. On a whim I took the Living Key I had left over from the subligar hunt of a few weeks ago. I actually managed to open the first chest I found with that key, and so got the first Magical Pattern of the night via my thiefly skills. I scooted back to Jeuno and turned in that pattern for my Savage Loincloths. Good stuff. Then I delved back into the caves and opened another chest with the Ordelle's Chest Key I'd collected a couple of weeks ago. With the second pattern in hand I got my fourth and final piece of Mithra RSE - the Savage Mittens. I know, I know. Mittens don't sound very Savage to me either. But anyway, last night I got the last of the cool and exclusive RSE, after having started collecting it months and months ago. I should get a picture up here before too long, but take my word for it - it's pretty cool-looking stuff.

I could talk about my life, or about E3.

I think I'll talk about e3 more. But first. Long story short - I begin working as Resident Java Expert for the BYU Office of IT on Monday. I'm looking forward to it. Good to be gainfully employed again. Many of my thoughts on the events of e3 are listed over on http://quarksff.org/ in the forums. But here's one that's a bit esoteric to talk about there. Tabula Rasa This is one of the MMORPGs that had caught my eye over the last couple of years. FFXI, which I play on a regular basis, The Saga of Ryzom, from those plucky French naturepunk enthusiasts, and Tabula Rasa, from Richard "Lord British" Garriot. TR was promising to do away with some of the tropes that hinder the whole Massive genre. It offered easy teleportation to friends or places of interest. It had private islands, where friends could gather. It did away with intimidating stats finagling during character creation. And it finally divorced the appearance of a piece of equipment from its game stats. It had a set of moral underpinnings, based on compassion. The motto of the dev team was "stable first, then fun, then fast". It had a really cool preliminary soundtrack that still lives in my playlist. But it seemed to be having difficulties. There were some higher-ups on the team that quietly left. There was a serious need to lock down a visual look for the game. And it kept getting delayed. So the big news was that the New Tabula Rasa would be unveiled at e3. I think they managed to cut out every aspect of the game that I found intriguing. It's basically Starship Troopers online. Check out the site: http://www.playtr.com From the videos I saw, all of the elegance that existed in the prior screenshots and starry-eyed explanations seemed neutered. In its place there were "big guns." Have we not seen enough big sci-fi weapons yet? They've found a consistent visual theme, and it does actually echo some of the earlier concepts I saw, but it seems to be wrapped in a layer of machismo that I really find repellent. Maybe the core of what originally caught my eye is still there, beneath the explosions and Bug-Eyed Monsters. What the site says about the role-playing elements is vague enough to allow many possibilities. But the way they are pushing this, as a generic humanity's-last-stand, is not going to attract the kind of people I had been hoping to play Tabula Rasa with.

For those it may concern,

• I got the key to my new apartment (#5) last night. But painting is going on through Friday, and it'll probably need a few days until the fumes subside enough that I won't get monstrous headaches. So sometime this weekend or next week I'll finally be moved in over there.
• However, the new apartment looks pretty sweet. New couches are a nice touch. And the bathrooms are more attractive. I think I'll have to abandon the idea of bringing one of the provided desks downstairs though. Too large. I can probably get an inexpensive build-it-yourself kit for not too much trouble though.
• The CS labs pretty much rock. Very useful, and a pleasant work environment.
• I had a job interview last Friday, down in the CAEDM labs in the Clyde Building - those are the engineering computing labs. It's the one for my second-place-ish option. That interview went well, and I just got a request for a callback interview with the boss of the guy I'd be working for. So I'm pretty sure I'll get an offer.
• However, I haven't been contacted yet by the Office of IT for the job I really want. I called them again today, and was told that the engineer in charge of the actual hiring should be contacting me shortly. I haven't heard anything other than that though. I really want to see progress on this front before I'm offered a position in the CB. Options are good.
• My apartment is really boring with everything packed away, and no internet. On the other hand, I'm not spending that much time there. I now live in the Talmage building.
• Speaking of internet, it looks like my option (*snicker*), is to go with Comcast cable internet. But it runs about $60 per month. And I'd need a router, so add another chunk of change onto that. Ouch. It wouldn't be so bad if I had roommates, but for just one person... blech.
• Classes are going well. I'm getting my coding groove back on. Which is good, because I'll be doing a lot of it. Calculus bores me, but I'll survive.

I think that's about it for the moment. Not much going on besides job hunt and school. I am fairly bored though, so call me or something, people!

Updates

Hmm. Where to begin? I'm moved in to my new place. Well, sorta. All my stuff is still in boxes and will be that way until I move across the hall to my permanent apartment. On the up side, I found out today that I will have that apartment to myself. Nobody else was willing to relocate after the renovations were done. heh. I'll have brand-new carpet, linoleum, and paint. Everything else here seems to be in good working order as well. There were people in and out all day checking on the condition of things - even small stuff like corner-protectors on walls. I think this bodes well for the future. I have a roommate at the moment, but he's leaving at the end of the week to go on a mission. His mom came to visit this morning. We spoke for a bit; it was really nice. As soon as she opened her mouth I knew she was from Carolina. It was really nice to talk to someone from home. Very comforting, somehow. I've decided to leave my computer(s) (!) disassembled for the next week. It will make moving easier, but I also need to focus on school and job-hunting for a while. I'm taking some important classes and it is essential that I do well in them. Don't expect to see me online too much for the next few weeks. It's been really busy with moving lately. We got Jill, Lauren, Kimberly, John, Robert, and myself situated over the last weekend. Sadly enough I think I generated the most work. I've just got lots of stuff - dishes, towels, various cleaning implements - household stuff that everyone tends to use, but only one person needs to own. Unfortunately, as I was packing I realized a few things are missing. The box that my computer monitor came in is gone. That's frustrating, because I need that box if I'm ever going to ship that monitor. I always keep the original packaging for that sort of thing. My copy of Settlers of Catan was nowhere to be found. I think I may have lent it out though, so I will have to check on that before calling it a lost cause. The most distressing missing item by far was the belt that I inherited from my grandfather. It's wide with a large silver buckle - a silver dollar is inlaid in the buckle. The leather of the belt is intricately pressed with acorns and tree branches. It's irreplaceable. Maybe it will turn up as I unpack all my things, but I kind of doubt it. I know I saw it just a few weeks ago. Man, I hope it's not lost. Robert, John, and I got the non-BYU approved housing issue worked out last night with the landlord. I think I ended up doing most of the talking. I assumed my icy no-nonsense demeanor that I pull out from time to time. It was effective, and a bit of a rush at the time, but I realized this morning that I really don't enjoy having to do that sort of thing. I won't publish the details of the agreement that we came to here, but I'll just say that I have no further obligations in relation to that contract. I hope that there are no lasting hard feelings from all this mess - I don't harbor any ill-will towards anyone; I just needed to get the issues sorted out. When I logged on to Route Y today, it gave me a big warning screen saying that I needed to update my contact information. It had a big note saying that the address I had on file was not BYU-approved, and that failure to update could result in registration holds. With that in mind, I'm glad we got things taken care of last night. I really hope that this job opportunity I'm banking on pans out. It looks like a great job - good pay, good hours, and work that A) I'm interested in, and B) I have experience in doing. I still have yet to hear back about my application and resume though. If I don't hear anything by Thursday I'll start making some inquiries. I imagine with all of the end-of-semester stuff going on recently, it's been rather busy. By Thursday I should have allowed enough time though. I'm starting to internalize that most of my friends are gone now for the Summer, and in some cases longer. It's an odd feeling; in the past it's always been me leaving for whatever reason. I was actually bored this morning. And there were no roommates to go bug or computers to use for IM or email. Hopefully I'll make some new acquaintances in my new ward, and strengthen my relationships with the people I do know here. Still, this might be one heck of an adjustment period. Congratulations to all my friends who have just graduated. Kirsa, Robert, John - you've worked for it, and it's great to see it all pay off. I'm really looking forward to my own graduation day. I wonder what my life will be like then. Will I be preparing for grad school? Will I be engaged, or possibly even married? Will I be preparing to serve a full-time mission? There are many exciting possibilities. It could even be something I haven't even considered yet. Well, I imagine I've hit most of the points I imagine people are wondering about regarding recent events in my life. It's been hectic lately. It looks to get even busier. And I'm loving it.

Fin

I'll keep this one short and sweet. Download my FFXI / Dungeons & Dragons Parody Sketch Video here. [35MB] Please be kind to the server. This file is encoded in the Xvid MPEG-4 codec, with an MP3 audio track. If you're on an MS Windows platform and don't see the video portion of the file, you might want to install FFdshow . Also, I'd love to answer any questions folks might have about the video. Ask away!

It is finished.

The video's done. I did the DVD-quality encode last night, and ran it past a bunch of Quarkies. Good stuff. It was well-liked, and everyone agreed it was far better than the version shown at the film festival. Now I need to get a web-quality encode set up, and get that posted. I'm planning on using the Xvid MPEG-4 codec, with LAME-encoded MP3 for the audio. Everyone should be able to play that with the proper codecs installed. Ok, off to work on that. Expect more news later tonight. --Update The web encode went beautifully. Now I'll just compress the audio once John's done playing Battlefield:Vietnam.

Flaw In The System

Ok, a vastly polished version of the main title is done. As is an opening shot that I'm very happy with. Now I need to get closing credits taken care of. I've got a song I'm happy with for the credits, but unfortunately it's just too long. Even after cutting out the second verse and the multiple refrains, it clocks in at 2:30. I don't have enough interesting footage to fill that time. Also, I think it's silly to have the credits be as long as the feature. So I'm trying to figure out what will work instead.

From the Trenches

Good day today. Made it down to Salt Lake for the Priesthood Session of Conference in the conference center. Very cool. I'm polishing up the timing and transitions on the video tonight. I'm a lot happier with it - not that I didn't like the rough cut shown at the film festival, but this is just tight. Now to get some opening titles and credits in. Shouldn't be too much longer.

Lights! Camera! Action!

Well, filming has begun and is going quite well. I *should* be able to make the deadline. Just need to finish things up today. On another note entirely, I've been sleeping like a baby. It's pretty sweet.

The Vana'diel Players

Be afraid. FFXI + Shakespeare? Stranger things have happened. (this post adapted from some conversations this morning, both over IM and in person) Well, my movie idea is to do it in the game world of FFXI, with actual players performing as actors. Then dubbing over with Quark voice talent :) But I was kind of stuck on how to approach the story. I want to have a broader appeal than to "people who play FFXI." Thus, my new idea. The Vana'diel Players. Shakespeare in FFXI. Do some famous scenes, and hilarity ensues. Everyone loves shakespeare! Plus the medieval fantasy setting fits the period nature of the works. I've been working on some of the technical aspects as well. Camera work, what character animations are available, good locations for shooting, video recording and compression methods. I'm shooting in widescreen :) The game looks surprisingly cool when you turn off the names floating above everyones' heads and crop the top and bottom of the image. (That eliminates the visual portion of the gui entirely.) You can zoom in closer and see the really quality animation job Square has done. And I found some technical helps as well. Ways to edit the FFXI data files themselves. I can do things like make my character invisible to facilitate camera work. I can change the appearance of people's outfits so that they visually have whatever costume I like, without having to pay through the nose for expensive gear. I've been working on this for the last couple of weeks on and off when I can't sleep at night... I've got a demo reel at the moment. Next I'll get a script together. Then recruit my actors, which shouldn't be too hard - I've got access to a large body of sympathetic players. I'm hoping to finish a script and start getting actors this week. Then maybe two three-hour sessions for shooting footage. Then I'll need to teach myself Adobe Premiere, which shouldn't be too hard, for the basic stuff. I'm pretty handy at that sort of thing. My first project besides the demo reel will have an audio track already completed - the ever so famous "Dungeons and Dragons" skit. "I attack the darkness" and all that. Following that and getting into shakespeare will be more difficult, due to needing to record dialogue. I plan to record the dialog first and then act to the timing of that. Oh, it'll be fun :) I enjoy FFXI, but I'm kind of wanting a break from the level treadmill. And I've always been a fan of the locations, scenery, characters, and all of that in the game. Well, that's the current state of my plans. I should be getting some still shots up here on the blog before too long. I'll keep ya posted!